Some Baptist Kids WILL Have Sex

I read Kelly Bogg's article, Please, Portland, Let Them Be Kids, over at Baptist Press with shock, concern, disgust, and frustration. At the heart of Bogg's editorial is this:

"The Portland (Maine) School Committee Oct. 17 voted 7-2 in favor of allowing King Middle School to make birth control pill and patch prescriptions available to its students, even if the parents don't approve it."

First of all, I want to go on record to say this is wrong...but not for the reasons you might think. I believe this is wrong because it is the responsibility of parents to take care of birth control education for their children and it is NOT the school system's job. I believe this is wrong because there are (evidently) parents who refuse to educate and discipline their 10-15 year-olds about sex and then blame the school system for unwanted pregnancies. I believe that issuing birth control methods to 10-15 year-olds without parental permission is wrong because it encourages (some) parents to neglect their sex education responsibilities for effective birth control and NOT because it encourages their children to have sex. I believe this is a wholesale condemnation of our churches, faith-based institutions, and families for passing-the-buck to public/governmental agencies where those public/secular agencies have NO business getting involved. This is wrong, wrong wrong! (Whew! That felt good!...but I am not finished.)

Now, on to Bogg's opening question: "Should a public school encourage students to engage in risky behavior that is also illegal? (my emphasis)" I am pretty sure that Bogg's is telling us that it is illegal for 10-15 year-olds in Maine to have sex. Great. Let's incarcerate every boy and girl who is unfortunate enough to get caught having sex...that'll show em! It continues to amaze me that we attempt to legislate sex between two people who want to have sex, regardless of their age. Although I agree with society's desire to prevent kids from having sex, passing a law to make it illegal does not address the deeper instincts that result in violating the law. Why not place the parents of these sexually active kids in stocks on the public square? We would have about as much success with that as we would if it were illegal to take more than one piece of pie off a desert table* at a Baptist fellowship supper. Some kids, even kids who know better, WILL have sex! Making it illegal for a hormonal kid to discover that tab "A" goes into slot "B" hasn't fixed much of anything.

The sad reality of having sex today is that there is not only the risk of pregnancy but there is risk of contracting a life threatening disease. I am asking myself, "Who gets to decide how we (as a society..and as Christians in society) minimize those risks?

Here is the frustrating part of Bogg's article: He asks (rhetorically) if the next step beyond the school sanctioned safe-sex initiative are future safe-smoking or safe-drinking or safe-cheating initiates? I would hope that doesn't happen either...but even if it does, it still doesn't resolve the sex issues. Throwing up smoking, drinking, and cheating smoke-screens is simply an additional confession that we do not know how to resolve those issues either and that we would rather condemn those who are taking drastic actions to resolve a life-threatening/life-producing problem that a single act of sexual intercourse can cause than offer up an alternative solution.

Oddly enough, Boggs and I are on the same side. Neither of us want kids having babies or having sexual intercourse. Sadly, neither of us can prevent that, sitting here in the cheap seats. As far as I can tell, we differ in that I am not willing to condemn the Portland, Maine school system for trying to fix something that the rest of us haven't been able to (or are unwilling to) fix. Boggs says, in his conclusion: "It truly is a bad idea." Boggs also presents a good case for why the Portland solution isn't likely to work. I am not crazy about the idea myself and I tend to agree with the implementation problems. I will not, however, let someone throw stones at an effort to fix a problem without offering up even a hint of how to resolve it. The theory that "kids will have sex" is NOT a theory...the reality is "some kids WILL have sex".

...even Baptist kids
Back in the old days when we used to sweep pregnant 15-year olds off to a relative in another state so they could spare the hometown family embarrassment, it was my pastor's daughter and my best friend who "did it" and to their surprise, delivered a 6.5 lb creature into the world nine months later. They knew that "dong it" was wrong. They also learned that there are consequences. There isn't a happy ending to this story. My friend ended up a single dad at 19. My pastor's daughter self-destructed into the world of alcohol and drugs. Before he died, my old pastor referred to the pregnancy as "the awful embarrassment" that ruined his ministry. From where I am seated today, we haven't made a lot of progress since that era in addressing children having sex with children...but we can sure tell you what we don't believe will work.

And while I am ranting over what I believe is wrong, I confess that I do not have a magic solution to offer to all the people in Portland (either)...and because I do not have a solution, I support their efforts to resolve the issue the best way they know how. I pray that this is a wake-up call for all Christians to find solutions even if it means talking openly and honestly and frequently about sex in church.

*For the record: I WILL take more than one piece of pie off the desert table.