Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I'm running for/from a Baptist committee and I affirm this message

If you plan to hold a committee position in the Tennessee Baptist Convention, you will be officially asked to affirm your belief in the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message. Rumor has it that the TBC messengers approved the revisions to the Nominating Committee Information Form today...hereinafter referred to as the RJSV (Revised Jerry Sutton Version) , or, What some people won't do to keep women pastors off a committee.

Not to be outdone, here's the Refugee Baptist Top 10 list of things that we'd like people to affirm before serving on Tennessee Baptist Committees:
10. I affirm that dessert at regular Wednesday night fellowship is not an option, it is sacrosanct
9. I agree that "Mo-tea?" is a perfectly acceptable interruption to any Baptist conversation.
8. I support the substitution of coffee pot perculation sounds for singing in early morning Sunday School.
7. I affirm that women should not have children after 35 (really, 35 children are enough).
6. I believe that "turning over in your hymnal" to any page, should qualify as a cardiovascular exercise.
5. I believe that the wearing of wireless microphones into bathrooms prior to a sermon by pastors should be banned from all Baptist life.
4. I affirm that women who prepare caseroles for covered dish meals should qualify for sainthood...(and I want someone to support that with a Biblical reference, please).
3. I believe that church pianists across our convention have the authority to play the Vacation Bible School "sit down chords" at any service where the pastor goes over his alloted time by more than 15 7 minutes.
2. I affirm that church committees who meet in consecutive meetings without food being present must confess that they are not accomplishing nearly as much as those who understand the value of a slice of pizza before beginning deliberations.
1. I affirm that parking lot assemblies that follow regular committee meetings are not required to keep minutes if the conversation includes any two of the following words: coffee, dessert, fishing, hunting, car trading, or honey-do-list.

Is there a cathedral door where I can nail the Refugee Baptist Top 10?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I attended the convention until I had to leave early Wednesday. My first convention was in 1998. I could not go into the sanctuary this time. I watched from the exhibit hall, got reports from friends, etc. My impression of the convention is that I attended a funeral. I feel better actually having seen the "body," not just heard about its demise.
As for women pastors, misogyny towards women in Baptist life begins much sooner than that. Anytime I have been on a church commmittee with men, especially deacons and pastors, the attitude toward me has been that of hostility. I have had long years of these encounters and have grown weary. I am glad to say that I do have a very close relationship with Jesus and that his attitude toward me is kind, accepting, and affirming. It is tragic that gentlemen who call themsevles Christian have such low regard for women. Women are made in the image of God as fully as men.
I will go to Kingsport next fall but that will most likely be my last TBC annual meeting. I do not believe that the Baptist Faith and Message, the current criteria by which Baptists in Tennessee seem to be judging Christian spirituality, should be vaunted to its current status of superseding the Hebrew Bible and the Second Testament. I do not need a paper Pope or a group of men telling me what to think.
I suppose since I have identified myself as female, my chances of being posted are diminished, just as there has been an attempt to diminish my person due to gender. Thankfully, there is no diminishment in Jesus Christ. I am whole and integrated because of the rightheousness of Jesus Christ.

Will said...

Your thoughtful comments are always welcome here. Not all Baptists hold the same view of women that you describe. Unfortunately, many who do hold that view seem to be quite vocal.

Will said...

Mike,
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting the comments. I might have to post now and then to help myself along the way of saying good-bye to being a Baptist.